Old Boudreaux died and went to the pearly gates. St. Pete was just waiting for him to get there. When they met up, St. Pete
said, "Whoa, Boudreaux, I can't let you pass through the gates until you answer three questions." Old educated Boudreaux
say, "Go ahead, St. Pete, give me your best shot," St. Pete say, "O.K., Boudreaux, question number one. How many seconds
do they have in a year?" Boudreaux say, "Aw, that's easy, St. Pete, twelve." St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, how did you get
twelve?" Boudreaux say, "Jan second, Feb second, etc." St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, that's not quite what I'm looking for, but
I'll let you slide. Question number two. How many days do they have in a week?" Boudreaux say, "That's easy, St. Pete,
two." St. Pete say, "Boudreaux, where you get two from?" Boudreaux say, "Today and tomorrow." St. Pete say,
"Boudreaux, that's not quite what I'm looking for. Now Boudreaux, this last question you have to get it right or I can't let
you into heaven. Who is our father?" Boudreaux say, "That's easy, St. Pete, Howard." St. Pete say, "Where did you get
Howard from, Boudreaux?" "Our father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.
Quibodeaux, Thibodeaux and Boudreaux were sitting in a boat on a very cloudy day fishing. They had been fishing a good
while when the sky suddenly opened up just above them and a ray of light shined down directly on the front of the boat. It
spooked them and they started to get nervous. All of a sudden, they heard a voice from up above. "This is the Lord." They
all looked at one another and begin saying, "I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing, I didn't do nothing." The Lord said,
"Don't get nervous. I'm not here to pass judgment on you, I only want to grant each of you one healing wish." They all
calmed down and Quibodeaux stood up in the boat. "As you already know Lord, I've been having this crick in the back of
my neck for the past ten years and if you were to grant me a healing wish, that would be it." The Lord waved his hand and
Quibodeaux started moving his neck freely. "Mais, that feels good. Thank you Lord, thank you," and he sat down.
Thibodeaux stood up next. "You know Lord, that bum leg I've been having for the past fifteen years, you know how bad I
limp, if you were to grant me one wish, that would be it." The Lord waved his hand and Thibodeaux immediately felt the
limp leave his leg. "Oh thank you Lord, oh thank you, thank you." Before Thibodeaux could sit down, there was a big
splash behind the boat. Both Quibodeaux and Thibodeaux looked behind themselves and see Boudreaux swimming away
from the boat as fast as he could. Thibodeaux shouted, "Boudreaux, where you going? The Lord is not here to pass
judgment on you, he's here to grant you a healing wish. You know that bad back of yours, he can heal it for you right here
and now." Boudreaux hollered back, not missing a swim stride, "No, no, I don't want the Lord to heal me, I'll lose my
One November morning, old Boudreaux come out of the woods on a four-wheeler dragging a big black bear behind him.
The game warden, Gaspard, just happened to be there and saw Boudreaux head straight for his truck. Now, let me tell you
Gaspard had been trying to catch Boudreaux hunting illegally for the past twenty years or so but could never catch him.
This morning was his lucky day, he just knew Boudreaux didn't have a hunting license, much less a big-game license.
Gaspard waited until Boudreaux loaded up his four-wheeler and put the bear in the back of his pick-up and then drove up to
him. He got of his truck and confronted him, "Boudreaux, let me see your hunting license for killing that bear." Old
Boudreaux whips out his hunting license and shows it to Gaspard. Gaspard say, "Boudreaux, you also need a big-game
license." Gaspard say, "Mais, Boudreaux, I thought I really had you. You know I have been trying to catch you for the last
twenty years. Now, I'm going to have to let you go, but before I leave, let me see that bear." Mais, Gaspard looked at that
bear and tell Boudreaux, "I see you shot him three times, once in the head, and one time in each in the paws." Boudreaux
say, "What you mean three times, I only used one bullet." Gaspard say, "Boudreaux that's kind of hard to do with one
bullet." Boudreaux then say, "Now I remember, Gaspard. He put his paws over his face when I shined that spotlight on
One day Thibodeaux went up to Boudreaux. "You know Boudreaux, I think somethin' wrong wit me." Boudreaux said, "Mais, Thibodeaux, tell me what's your problem.?" "Well, Boudreaux," Thibodeaux said. "My whole body is in pain. Everywhere I press on my body it hurts." "Thibodeaux, I think I know what's wrong with you." Boudreaux replied. "Tell me Boudreaux, what could it be?""Thibodeaux, you need to see the doctor because your finger's broken."
When Boudreaux got home yesterday, Clotile ran out to him saying, "The car got water in the carburetor!" "How you know
that, you?" "Cause it's parked in the Bayou!"
One day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went to the casinos. Boudreaux wandered away for a little while, then when he
returned he asked Thibodeaux to come and see this slot machine that pays really well. When Thibodeaux walked over there
he noticed that Boudreaux had been putting dollar bills in the change machine and not a slot machine. He thought he was
winning when really he was only getting change for his dollar.
One day Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux and asked him why he was so bruised up. Thibodeaux replied that he had been riding
a bull, and his foot got stuck when he fell off. The bull kept dragging him around until the Wal-Mart manager came and
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